I Know Someone Slightly Famous...Which Makes Me Cool

So I was talking to my friend Dawne last week, who happens to be a hairdresser I met while working at ADo last year, and she informs me that a mutual acquaintance, Catt Sadler, is the new host for E! Entertainment network. Catt is from Indy and she is a friend of Dawne and would regularly visit the salon. A few times we all had dinner and drinks in Broadripple. She's very, very sweet and cool. She used to be the morning host on Fox 59 in Indy. I asked Dawne if she would continue to cut her hair and she said probably yes. Additionally, Catt said she may need help with her hair for some red carpet events. I told Dawne I was "all over that"...being her blow-dry ho and such. She said..."Sounds good." That translates to "April is totally in and going to become a big celebrity" to me. A girl can dream. Anyway, congratulations to Catt...it couldn't have happened to a sweeter girl. I'll be tuning in every night at 7:30 to watch her on "The 10" on E! - and not because I am a whore for celebrity gossip.

Things I've Learned Today

1. I smell good...damn good. This was told to me by two random men in Starbucks and the barista this a.m. For all those interested in smelling as fantastic as moi, I was wearing Anne Pliska...which is an orange, vanilla, patchouli and bergmont mixed perfume.
2. The newest security guard at H&H cannot protect me. He is approximately 95 years old and judging by his movements could not step in the line of fire for me fast enough. According to Otis the building janitor and captain of the social committee, he has exactly one tooth. Otis said "When you only gots one tooth left....it be time to pull that business out and get some dentures." I said "True dat."
3. Monday night is "Gay Night" at the 38th and Meridian Starbucks. I will attempt to solicit Jennie and Pam later to go. I think we would all really enjoy ourselves and make many new male friends. If only they played club music...
4. I miss Jennie. She hasn't been in to the office the past few days and I wanted so badly to tell her that she'll always be an A plus 10 specially reserved bonus points in my eyes.
5. The Office was a re-run last week. However, this week is new and it's about Michael's birthday. Also, the show was picked up for next year with 22 new episodes. Even better - this Summer we'll be able to watch 10 mini episodes through the internet.
6. The copy gestapo at H&H hasn't had sexual relations in more than a month. I am guessing she didn't think there was anyone else in the 3rd floor bathroom when she divulged this info to her co-worker. People: please think twice about what you say in the restroom...you never know who's lurking in a stall.
7. There is another potential "hot guy" at H&H...that makes two.
8. Corporate Informations Systems at H&H can't find a way to make my Lotus INotes calendar work with Indiana's ludacris new time change...so all my appointments are effed up from now til October. I don't really blame the computer nerds, I blame our idiot governor and all Republicans.

You Cannot Get the Bird Flu by Playing Duck Duck Goose...or Can You?

Picture it: The HEPT phone is again ringing off the hook this afternoon. In an attempt to stop the madness swirling about my head during its 34th ring - I went out and answered it. I really should have known better. I mean, I worked in that department for over 5 years and bore witness to plenty of random..."I spilt baby powder on me, could it be anthrax?"...or "I ate too many McMuffin's and now I am obese...can I sue McDonald's?" phone calls. Today, it wasn't any different. The following is a transcript from my conversation:
April Thayer: "Marion County Health Department this is April."
(muffled noise and coughing sounds)
Random Male Caller: "Um yea, is there anyone there I can talk to about having the bird flu?"
AT: "The Avian flu?"
RMC: "The kind you get from eatin' birds and stuff...that's what I mean."
AT: "Yah...Well Sir, I can get someone from Communicable Disease or Emergency Preparedness if you give me a second." *What I really wanted to say was "Have you been on a rendezvous with a domesticated turkey recently?"
RMC: "Well, I've been on the tow-let (Indiana slang for toilet) and have been puking."
*I wanted to tell him that the flu is usually cough, sore throat...etc, but I didn't.
AT: "Okay, well I am not a physician so I can't tell you if that's Avian flu...but I suggest you call your doctor."
RMC: "I had a chicken sandwich about two days ago from Wendy's - could that be it?"
AT: "Um, no....er, well Sir, you should really call your doctor."
RMC: "It had bacon on it too...is there a pig flu?"
AT: "Let me transfer you." *Then I pushed flash and dialed a random health department number, but it must have been a number in Immunizations because on the way back to my office I hear a women saying "No Sir, we don't deal with the bird flu in this department."
I promptly packed up my work bag and left the building laughing.

Celebrating St. Patty's Indy-Style

Robin and I are just getting ready to leave the office to see the Mayor dye the canal green (no that's not sludge in the water) and go warm up for the Shamrock 5K. Here are some photos - the guy warming up for the run was there last year and lets hope that he's there again so I have some prime photographing opportunities. He's even wearing a crazy hat! Time to go stretch out for the race - Please send me good vibes so I don't injure myself or others whilst racing.

Kiss Me, I am Not Irish...but I Love Their Beer

Tis' that time of year again. St. Patrick's Day - when Leprechauns roam the city with no fear of becoming the victims of a hate crimes, co-workers wear excessive amounts of green (including underwear) and most importantly, the Guinness runneth free. Living in a metropolis has its perks yet again when it comes to cultural-ish (notice I added the "ish") celebrations. There city-wide activities, music festivals, parties and even a St. Patty's parade. This year we've chosen to attend the celebration at Claddaugh Irish Pub downtown. The Claddaugh has huge tents set up, live music, pipe bands and most importantly...lots of Guinness. I am doing the Shamrock Walk/Run with my co-workers in the morning, then I'll be heading to Jennie's to change and get prepared for the festivities. My one true hope (besides swimming in a bucket of Guinness and kissing a Blarney stone) would be for one of the many bands to play my favorite Irish tune - Who Threw the Overalls in Mrs. Murphy's Chowder. My second true hope would be to see the White Carl - which Jennie thinks she may have seen last weekend when she was at Claddaugh...but I am not putting all my Shamrocks in one basket.
[Update] : I have heard three people on my floor this afternoon discussing the joys of Shamrock Shakes from McDonalds. One individual said she'd had three since Friday. Vanilla shakes dyed green and flavored with mint...can you possibly get any more Irish than that? St. Patrick, nee Maewyn, himself is probably rolling over in his grave. These people probably think the Trinity is the father, son and the holy milkshake.

Domo Arigatou April Robotou

It is a known fact that I adore the Asparagus Roll and the Miso soup at I Love Sushi. It may not be known that I attempt to speak Japanese when I am there. Not alot of Japanese, just a "Hello, how are you?" and "Thank you." I guess I am under the assumption that it is pleasant and respectful to attempt to speak to people in their own language when possible. And considering the staff is always speaking Japanese to one another, I didn't think they'd mind at all. Tonight though, it sort of backfired on me. I've been in there so often using my "Konnichi wa" , "Arigatou" and even "Ni" when the waitress asked me how many rolls I wanted. Thank goodness I didn't want more than seven, because that's as far as I go with numbers before really having to rack my brain. Anyhow, as I am leaving I say my "thanks" and suddenly the man behind the counter starts rattling off something and I had not a clue what it was. It sounded like he said "Murasaki" which I think is Japanese for purple and I was rocking the purple scarf Jennie knitted me last year. But I really can't be sure. The point is I felt like a complete tool, because I just said "Arigatou" again and left. The lesson here is: know more than a handful of phrases before speaking to anyone in their native language...especially if you want to go back for Aspargus Rolls next week.

Dunder Mifflin, Inc.

If you love The Office as much as I do, make sure to check out the Dunder Mifflin Newsletter, written by Michael Scott (Regional Manager) and Dwight Schrute's (Assistant to the Regional Manager) Blog. You can also watch "The Faces of Scranton" documentary Michael made to show the higher-ups at his last quarterly meeting.

http://www.nbc.com/nbc/The_Office

It says tonight's episode is Diversity Day, which is a rerun for all of you avid watchers, but is still incredibly hilarious. One of the best episodes of all. I love it when they stick those cards on their heads...reminds me of something they'd make us do at H&H.

Welcome to the Sunshine State: Home of Fresh Squeezed OJ, Senior Citizens and the Origin of My New Tan

I've just returned from an entire week in Florida and although I did enjoy some relaxation, I missed my friends and my blogging. So, just for you I will post some thoughts and fun facts I've learned about the Sunshine State:
1. I've decided that if I ever had to live in Florida, the following three jobs would not appeal to me: Pharmacist, Social Security Office and Bureau of Motor Vehicles. All of these answers, of course, directly relate to the proportion of senior citizens living there.
2. Senior citizens rule the world. They can get specials on anything - anytime - anyplace.
3. Most people (minus seniors & right-to-lifers) hate their Republican Governor - Jeb Bush. This is obvious by the amount of liberal bumper stickers on the cars. Honestly, I thought most Floridians loved the man, but after watching the news for a week, it seems not. This proves that people in Florida are also alot smarter than I thought.
4. People who consider themselves "Rednecks" like a lot of attention. They also don't mind if you call them "Rednecks". There are many ways they draw attention to themselves. Some of which are: Whooping, Redneck for Life bumper stickers, and petitioning the State of Florida for a Redneck-themed funpark akin to Disney...I am not kidding people, I saw this on a legitimate news program.
5. Circus people retire and relax in Florida during the winter months. When I visited Rob in Tampa, I thought he was kidding me. He then drove me through a "circus" town and proved me wrong. The town is called Gibsonton. Did you know that there is an actual law in Florida that states that if an elephant is tied to a parking meter that the ticket has to be paid just the same as if it were a car? Yup. Another interesting law in Florida states that a man shall not be seen in a strapless evening gown in Miami. Now, I've been in clubs in Miami and seen plenty of men in drag, but I don't recall any of them having a strapless gown on. This is proof that drag queens are not only fantastic, but are law-abiding citizens.
6. Everyone one in Florida thinks they're in an ad campaign for Speedo. A small majority of people would actually make the cut, in my opinion. Everyone else should just go nude, it would be much better than seeing material stuffed in places it shouldn't be stuffed.
7. There's a country music song actually called "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off"..no really..and it's pretty funny.

Kidding aside, I must say it was so nice to lay on the beach under a palm tree and read Truman Capote's Music for Chameleons. I love the smell of saltwater on my tan skin and the lull of the ocean, which was just warm enough for me to swim in. The only thing I really detest is sand in my crack, but really, what can you do about that? Stay tuned for more Florida photos - some of which might include me in a swimsuit - which may or may not change your mind about reading this blog. Whatever you do, don't cut and paste them onto MySpace for the perverts to look at.