You Cannot Get the Bird Flu by Playing Duck Duck Goose...or Can You?

Picture it: The HEPT phone is again ringing off the hook this afternoon. In an attempt to stop the madness swirling about my head during its 34th ring - I went out and answered it. I really should have known better. I mean, I worked in that department for over 5 years and bore witness to plenty of random..."I spilt baby powder on me, could it be anthrax?"...or "I ate too many McMuffin's and now I am obese...can I sue McDonald's?" phone calls. Today, it wasn't any different. The following is a transcript from my conversation:
April Thayer: "Marion County Health Department this is April."
(muffled noise and coughing sounds)
Random Male Caller: "Um yea, is there anyone there I can talk to about having the bird flu?"
AT: "The Avian flu?"
RMC: "The kind you get from eatin' birds and stuff...that's what I mean."
AT: "Yah...Well Sir, I can get someone from Communicable Disease or Emergency Preparedness if you give me a second." *What I really wanted to say was "Have you been on a rendezvous with a domesticated turkey recently?"
RMC: "Well, I've been on the tow-let (Indiana slang for toilet) and have been puking."
*I wanted to tell him that the flu is usually cough, sore throat...etc, but I didn't.
AT: "Okay, well I am not a physician so I can't tell you if that's Avian flu...but I suggest you call your doctor."
RMC: "I had a chicken sandwich about two days ago from Wendy's - could that be it?"
AT: "Um, no....er, well Sir, you should really call your doctor."
RMC: "It had bacon on it too...is there a pig flu?"
AT: "Let me transfer you." *Then I pushed flash and dialed a random health department number, but it must have been a number in Immunizations because on the way back to my office I hear a women saying "No Sir, we don't deal with the bird flu in this department."
I promptly packed up my work bag and left the building laughing.