Do You Have a Penis? If So, I Think I Can Help.
Our internet service provider at H&H is pretty decent. Notice I said "pretty decent." I am not getting half the spam I used to these days. But one topic keeps getting through at an alarming pace: penis mail. Penis enlarging, penis hardening and general penis mail at the rate of at least four a day. Here are some examples of titles in my inbox along with my own commentary:
"Do You Want the High Hard One?" - Yes, perhaps. But have you seen the types of people they get to endorse the products? I would like these companies to think long and hard (pun intended) about whom they choose to model the product - they might want to start with 'attractive' as one of the initial standards.
"The Enlonginator - Rock Hard..." - Even if I had a penis, I wouldn't choose a product that reminded me of Arnold Schwarznegger, which would remind me of Republicans, which would make me loose my erection.
"Get at Least Three More Inches" - At least three? Try six and you've got me.
"Please Your Partner for Hours" - Doing what? I can be pleasured for hours by shopping at Saks. You've got to give me more to go on here.
The least they could do would be to change things up and send me some breast enlargement advertisements - something I could actually ponder. So anyway, if you have a penis and are interested, let me know and I'll put you on my forwarding list.
"Do You Want the High Hard One?" - Yes, perhaps. But have you seen the types of people they get to endorse the products? I would like these companies to think long and hard (pun intended) about whom they choose to model the product - they might want to start with 'attractive' as one of the initial standards.
"The Enlonginator - Rock Hard..." - Even if I had a penis, I wouldn't choose a product that reminded me of Arnold Schwarznegger, which would remind me of Republicans, which would make me loose my erection.
"Get at Least Three More Inches" - At least three? Try six and you've got me.
"Please Your Partner for Hours" - Doing what? I can be pleasured for hours by shopping at Saks. You've got to give me more to go on here.
The least they could do would be to change things up and send me some breast enlargement advertisements - something I could actually ponder. So anyway, if you have a penis and are interested, let me know and I'll put you on my forwarding list.
posted by April at 5:49 AM
1 Comments:
Hmmm...I like this concept--why couldn't we have a setting on all e-mail accounts to indicate preference for spam? That way men could receive all the "Get A Monster Dong" e-mail, and women could get "Blow Him Away with Breast Enlargement!" e-mails.
Post a Comment
<< Home