A Summer Sausage in the Winter - Also Known As "Dear Robin's Secret Santa, You Suck!"

The Chronic Disease Department (which I am now a part of) does a Secret Holiday Gift Exchange every year. I must say that I adore my lovely Secret Holiday Friend, and I myself, am being a good one as well. Robin is not so lucky. First of all, the rules state that you should kindly leave your person one small gift each week for three weeks. The first week, I got a lovely Cinnamon Bun candle - Robin got squat. Last week, I received a cool photo frame and some candy bars. Robin got some cheap-ass sixer of Ho Ho Ho Cola with a yellow sticky note attached that just read "Secret Santa". Not even a "To", "From", "Happy Holidays -Enjoy" or a "Hey Douchebag - Here's Your F-ing Gift". It should also be noted that this Secret Santa has the handwriting of a serial killer.

Today, Robin received the mother of all gifts - a dollar store Summer Sausage giftpack, complete with processed cheese spreads, fake-fish crackers and some craptastic teabags. It's not even Hickory Farms for Santa's Sake! It also suspiciously looked outdated. Poor Robin. She is really leaving thoughtful gifts for her person, only to be given junk from a person who obviously only wanted to participate so "she" would receive some good stuff. Yes, I have deduced it down to a "she" and a particular "she" at that.

So, I've planned to supplement Robin with some gifts from me to make up for this individual's lack of Holiday class. And if you see Robin (she'll be the one looking glum while gagging down a Ho Ho Ho Cola) wish her a Happy Holiday and throw her a dollar or something so she can buy herself a real gift.

But on a much lighter note, VH1 presented a great documentary last night entitled "So Jewtastic". Check it out here: (http://www.vh1.com/) and definitely find out when it replays, because it's humorous and highly enlightening. I should have taped this for my former co-workers so that they could see more evidence that religions other than Christianity do exist...and they also celebrate Holidays.