Pardon Me 8-Foot Recycle Bin, I'd Like to Get to My Office

This morning, after showing the 95 year-old security guard my badge, and after asking him "Do you love it?" I proceeded on to the elevators. Something, or things, was clearly in my way. What, you ask? Two elephant-sized green recycle bins. I says to Otis I says - "What the fuck are these?" He started his usual laughing (because, I've determined, that he thinks it's uber-hilarious to hear a young, white chick in dressclothes curse like a truck driver) but said "Those be for recyclin'." "Recyclin' what...nuclear missiles?" I says. Otis goes on to say "Ah yeah, well you're gonna be real happy when you get to three...cause there's two more sittin' right outside the doors." Grrreeeaaat (said in a Bill Lumberg fashion).

Upon closer inspection of said bins, I noticed they had written instructions for dolts like "No Hot Ashes". What kind of moron do you think I am? First of all, the building is smokefree and secondly...what kind of moron do you think I am?

Let's get one thing straight - I am all for recycling. I have a Ray's recycling bin at my house that's full of rinsed cans and paper...but two bins on each floor and each the size of a Ford Festiva placed ever so conveniently outside the elevator entrances to each floor? The smaller ones we've had since I started working there are just fine, thank you.

These bins pose some other problems that I don't think the powers that be even considered. We already have a security problem in our building and now with these Voltron-sized bins people can hide behind them, or say, smuggle themselves and loads of explosives in them. Plus, with all the lazy-ass people floating around there is bound to be stinky, unrinsed cans and food receptacles in there. And since they're so damn big, it's going to take forever to fill them. My final complaint...who the hell do you think has to haul all 18 of those fuckers out to the curb for pick-up? Otis, that's who...and nobody asked him for his imput.

So I guess it's okay if I start chucking worthless employees in them...I have already started my list. The only other option is to make a guestlist and throw a rave in one...does anybody have some extra glowsticks lying around?