Who Are the People In Your Neighborhood?

The old Sesame Street song begs the question: just who are these people...the people that you meet each day? I do believe it is important to learn about the people in your neighborhood or, for all intents and purposes, your workplace.
I first pondered this yesterday when Lisa, Robin and I were out to lunch. When talking about our workplace, aliases for other employees seemed to roll off our tongues effortlessly. I know I cannot be the only person in the free world that makes up pseudonyms for other employees. With that, allow me to present just some of the people in my neighborhood.
Pumpkinhead: individual who changes her hair color monthly, but its mainstay is orange.
Tipsy: this person is always lit up like a Christmas tree.
Papertowel Pilferer, aka Papertowel Hoarder: person whom Otis has identified as the lady who cleans him out of paper towels in the third floor restroom before the workday begins. He thinks she is running a part-time restaurant business.
Rolling Papers: person who set Saazo's Saazo on fire in said lot and who always has a stash of Zig Zags in back pocket.
Copy Gestapo: person who alerted Jennie that we have in house copying services available and that she should use them instead of hogging the copier on 3.
Ass Blower: is always in the 3rd floor bathroom at 1:30 p.m. Ask Tiffany for details.
Breast Checker: security guard who would rather make sure you have a bra on than whether or not the building is about to be sprayed with gunfire.
Michael Jackson: this person was also named by Otis when they sported a Jerri Curl for months at a time.
Shirt Bitcher: located on the first floor, doesn't want to wear a long-sleeved employee health fair shirt.
Hot Guy #1 & Hot Guy #2: both in Housing. Ask Lisa for details.
Mr. McFeely: named was coined by Pam in '02.
Close Talker & Loud Talker: both on 3 and both friends.
Cemetary Sex: new name, but Robin and company should know who I am talking about.
Revlon Red: coined by Jennie or Sarah, I can't remember, but count on seeing this person a mile away.
Smokey McSmokepants: refers to several individuals smoking near the Glendale tree or in their cars while I am trying to get through to my vehichle to do actual work.
I sure hope there is a nice pseudonym for me out there...like asthma-ho or sexy office supply-hoarder...one can only dream. Robin, Emily, Nicole, Jennie...Rhonda...even Jorge...have I missed anybody?